Fat Girl Gearing Up for Big Fat Lawsuit

By Lex September 04, 2013 @ 5:07 PM

In terms of ranking who not to fuck with, I’d go with bipolar UFC ground gamer, ruthless Mexican drug lord, and fat girls with litigious moms in a close third. There’s a big Internet hue and cry over how one chunky teen was mistreated at a mall store in Oregon, and the entire story seems fishy.

On Saturday, Shelby Buster, 14, was walking through the Valley River Center Mall in Eugene with her mother, Marjory Buster, and a friend named Jennica. Excited to shop without her mom for the first time ever, she and Jennica entered the women’s clothing store rue21, where she encountered a rude surprise.

“I walked in and the lady at the front counter said ‘hey you’re too big to be in this store, I need you to leave,’” Shelby told Oregon local news station KEZI on Sunday.

Here’s a few things I don’t believe. That there’s a real life fat girl named Shelby Buster. That anybody names their kid Jennica. And that even the bitchiest dimwit of a sales girl would run over to an innocent fat girl minding her own business and tell her she’s too fat too shop in her store. I guess I do believe that part about how Shelby was excited to shop without her mom for the first time ever because I just assume young girls think inane stuff like that.

After supposedly being brazenly humiliated about her size, Shelby did what any fat girl would do, she went on social media and bitched about the rotten bitchy sales girl. Then her mom got into the outraged act on Facebook and got Shelby on a local TV channel to spin her harrowing tale. Then nobody decided that maybe Shelby should eat a salad every now and then or maybe hit the public pool for a few laps.

What is definitely coming is some kind of financial settlement from the crappy mall store to the fat girl’s mother. The big winner will likely be the local Arby’s restaurant outlets, or Oversized Swans, the ballet school for large girls with even larger dreams that I just invented.

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 09/04/2013 19:07

    She’s 14 and fat, which means she lies to get what she wants, unlike us beautiful skinny people that always get what we want regardless of how many fat people we have to step over to get there. Fat people need to lie – it’s just how the world works.

  2. avatar
    teutonic 09/04/2013 23:49

    14 and fat; no daddy issues there.

  3. avatar
    MacDaddy 09/05/2013 09:48

    Of course this b*tch is lying and I hope Rue21 counter-sues the family for liable and defamation of corrector for for their Facebook rants!

  4. avatar
    birdiesmith 09/06/2013 16:34

    Your pant size should never be higher than your age.

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