Kate Upton Is Your Model of the Year

By Lex September 04, 2013 @ 3:37 PM

Kate Upton On The Cover Of Vanity Fair's 100th Issue
It’s important to Kate Upton that you remember that she’s not a sex object. I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do with this admonition specifically, Maybe review her grade school art folder as you whack off to her? Either way, the non-object has accepted the title of model of the year for the Style Awards, whatever the hell those are. But it must be important, because it’s being televised on E!, which means there will be bulimic over-made up shrews talking about shit I don’t care about as all the while I’m objectifying Kate Upton. I’m weak in the soul and Kate Upton is cursed with being a great looking blond with nice tits. The universe has a master plan and Kate Upton is still trying to fight it.

Photo Credit: Vanity Fair

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 09/04/2013 15:42

    Not a sex object? She’s the most objecty sexy object that ever, um, objected.

  2. avatar
    MacDaddy 09/04/2013 16:33

    As a long time Kate admirer, and her future husband, I can honestly say that these are the worst photos ever taken of my Beautiful future wife. The photographer should be shot in the face multiple times!

  3. avatar
    Admiral 09/04/2013 19:10

    MacDaddy, they probably purposefully took bad pictures of her just to hurt her career or tarnish her image. When I was a kid I thought professionals would never do that, now I know there are assholes everywhere that don’t think twice about that kind of shit.

  4. avatar
    Doctor Mindbender 09/06/2013 22:53

    I’ve already stolen some of her skin cells in order to clone her.

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