Kissing Johnny Galecki Made Sara Gilbert Gay

By Lex September 13, 2013 @ 6:06 PM

What a letdown to learn that all the hot sexual sparks on Roseanne weren’t real. When the little scruffy mannish daughter would kiss her sexually ambiguous looking boyfriend, I thought I felt something. But I guess it was just the cosmic sting of lies and deceit as Sara Gilbert now says she never liked kissing boys at all.

I thought he was super cute and had a total crush on him and we started dating and he would come over and we would make out and then I would start to get depressed,

But not so depressed that she didn’t formulate a plan to use Johnny as a beard during the course of the show so she could regularly scissor kiss a girlfriend twice her age. She said Johnny was totally okay with it, or at least couldn’t hear his protests with her worn boxer shorts stuffed into his mouth.

Gilbert felt horrible about keeping her gay secret, but worried about the repercussions on her career in Hollywood given the fact that nobody ever in her lifetime was hurt by being gay in Hollywood. So, basically, she didn’t want her folks to know.

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    teutonic 09/13/2013 20:23

    Anybody kissing anything in the same zipcode with Rosanne Barr is enough to make anyone powerboot their tacos.

  2. avatar
    BillyMitchellisaGoldenGod 09/14/2013 08:44

    Even more depressing is that people actually watch the Big Bang Theory.

    American Apparel uses mail order prides as their models?

  3. avatar
    Shortshanks 09/14/2013 21:06

    “She said Johnny was totally okay with it,”

    ….does that mean he ate her pussy…?? …..Or just bought her some Birkenstocks..??

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