Woman Stabs Boyfriend For Playing The Eagles

A woman in South Carolina stabbed her boyfriend for listening to The Eagles. It seems that Vernett Bader, (she’s single now, boys), was watching TV when her live-in boyfriend started playing the fucking Eagles. She asked him to turn it down and he didn’t. Don Henley’s wistful whines and Joe Walsh’s overbearing guitar licks became too much for her and she grabbed a bread knife and cut him. He then hid in the bathroom until the cops came. It’s unclear which song drove her over the edge, though if I had to guess I’d say it was probably Desperado. That’s an insidious harmony that will drive you to murderous intent. Metaphorically we’re all stuck in the Hotel California, Vernett forgot that you can check out anytime you like, but you can NEVER leave.