Chris Brown Wants to Understand Why People Get Upset When He Hits Them

By Lex October 30, 2013 @ 3:27 PM

Chris Brown Performs At The iHeartRadio Festival In Las Vegas
You may remember that last time Chris Brown went to anger management counseling, he learned that he can’t be leaving visible marks on his bitches when he gets to feeling like a boiling teapot. But that was court appointed counseling. In the manner of the new celebrity justice S.O.P., Chris Brown has checked himself into anger management rehab before he’s formally rung up on his latest assault case.

“We talked today and he said, ‘I want to take some time and do a little introspection and understand everything that’s going on around me,’” lawyer Mark Geragos told the Daily News. “It was his decision, and he should be applauded.”

Yes, that lingo sounds exactly like Chris Brown. We should applaud a man who wants to understand everything going on around him. Like understanding that surprised dude standing over there with the bloody nose you just sucker punched in the face. Or that big ass bodyguard who travels with you to finish off your fights. Or that policeman coming toward you yelling at you to put your hands behind your back. All this understanding is going to take some quiet time. Preferably along the beach in Malibu with complementary WiFi. Dick.

Photo Credit: Getty

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    hongkongbobo 10/30/2013 17:15

    Dear Lex

    Is it a proven fact that the WIFI will be complementary, or will it be complimentary?

    “You are the very best to use the WIFI, Chris!”

    When is the next seminar for their, there and they’re?


  2. avatar
    miche the killer 10/30/2013 21:52

    I refuse to applaud someone for learning to act like a functioning, civilized person. Lawyers are such dicks.

  3. avatar
    SpaceCadet 10/30/2013 22:07

    I was in Hawaii a year ago and my 12 year old daughter saw Chris. She went up to him and said hi, Not a bad guy but he had some real trampy girls with him who tore a strip out of my kid. What the heck, she is a kid. Perhaps Chris should give his head a shake and hang out with a better class of people.

  4. avatar
    Al Bundy 10/31/2013 03:08

    >but he had some real trampy girls with him who tore a strip out of my kid.<

    I must be too old or too white.

    What does that mean?

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