There’s really no escaping the masculine powerhouse that is Justin Bieber. His oozing testosterone was enough to bring one lucky Chinese girl to tears when Justin brought her up on stage during a Shanghai concert and began stroking her with his little baby hand. Later, Justin ripped off his clothes and ten thousand Chinese girls spontaneously feinted from a combination of budding sexual exasperation and the shocking site of the tiny pale unisex demon that Chinese campfire stories have been passing on from generation to generation. After the concert, the government ordered everyone back to their homes for zither music and Nike knockoff wear stitching.
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