Malin Akerman Was A Dirty Active Teenage Traveler

Malin Akerman described her slutty teenage years to pasted-together talk show host Chelsea Handler. In the soon to be cancelled show, The Trophy Wife, Akerman plays…well…the trophy wife of an older dude. So, Handler asked her if she’d ever slept with an older guy. She then told the sordid tale of having an affair with an aromatic 28-year-old Frenchie when she was just 16. When Handler pointed out that fucking a girl who is just old enough to drive is illegal she said,

“This was in France. … His name was Fabio, so that’s awesome. I vacationed a lot in European countries where there are no rules — drink at any age, have sex at any age, obviously.

I’m pretty sure there are age of consent laws in most countries, even in socially enlightened France. Then Handler said that she heard that Akerman didn’t shower for a month after getting fucked three ways from Sunday by this greasy Frog. Akerman added,

“Who has time? We do a European shower. You wash the parts that need to be washed because you kind of have to.”

I guess that works in France, where the concept of a daily shower seems as foreign as being polite to strangers. As for me, I almost don’t care how hot you are, I’m expecting basic hygiene. Malin Akerman is close. Still, when you come off looking less clean than Chelsea Handler, that’s a feminine issue that needs some addressing.