Theater Chain Bans Madonna For Being a Twat

Former hot person Madonna has been banned from Texas theater chain The Alamo Drafthouse over being a bitch and texting during a movie. We told you the other day about an incident during a screening of 12 Years A Slave in which she was politely asked to quit texting and responded back, “It’s for business, ENSLAVER!”. The Alamo Drafthouse is famous for serving beer and grub during movies. You can get loaded, but you can’t fucking text. It’s all your personal freedoms not bleeding over into others.

“Until she apologizes to movie fans, Madonna is banned from watching movies @drafthouse.”

One theater chain banning the old crone may not affect Madonna’s behavior all that much. But what if she was banned from all theaters? What if Madonna were chased into the hills like the monstrous Gollum she is by angry cinephiles? Anyone who texts during a movie should be crucified in the parking lot as a warning for others. Please, Alamo, let the person she yelled at be the first to drive the nails into her frightening Middle Earth arms.