I hate when people ask me to promote shit. Would you ask a hooker for a complimentary hummer? Go on, tell her your dick tastes like rainbows and you’re doing her a favor, I dare you. How do I know if your new wallet is revolutionary and why the fuck do we we need to revolutionize wallets anyhow? The leather billfolds we’ve had since Roman times seem to work pretty well. Solve world hunger or invent a scheme to help Jacksonville win a football game or something mind blowing, then I’ll care. Or send me a photo of a topless girl promoting your desperate film project on Indiegogo. Indiegogo is Occupy Wall Street for applied arts majors. It’s a way to remind your parents how naive they were to pay $100,000 for you to major in film while the Asian neighbor’s kid got a computer science degree at an inexpensive state school and now has ten outstanding job offers.
You can check out Michael Kukka’s film project Alphabet Town on Indiegogo. For a $50 you get a t-shirt. For $500 you can shit in his ear while you complain about your wife.