Courtney Stodden Turns To Random Gays In Time of Crisis

No split in Hollywood is official until the bullshit press release comes out:

“After two and a half years of marriage, Courtney and Doug have decided to become legally separated. Courtney was married at a young age. Now, at 19, she’s interested in exploring life as an unmarried single young adult, with the freedom to explore her independence.”

The desire to be single certainly seems like a good reason not to be not single. But adjusting to independent life won’t just be an easy task for Courtney. She’s so used to a creepy old man following three steps behind her everywhere she goes. In an effort to look happy and happening, Courtney turned to the random gay men that serve as on-call posse for overly made up Hollywood vamps. These ambiguously gendered young party and players will swarm a hot mess like flies to a freshly shat dookie. It’s like the calvary, with cock rings where the horses used to be. If you can tell a woman’s mood simply by staring at her large, fake tits, I’d say Courtney seems happy with her new single life.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet