Hollywood’s Attempt to Gay Up American TV Has Nothing on Japan (VIDEO)

I don’t know why so many of you sent me this video. I’ll take it as a compliment on my obvious manhood that you thought I could objectively evaluate a Japanese game show where a gay man is given forty minutes to blow a straight man into ejaculation. The premise itself is intentionally ludicrous. First off, who takes forty minutes to jizz. I don’t care if it’s Scarlett Johansson on her knees, or this chubby oral Samurai, there’s no good reason to spend more than five minutes percolating. Presumably, you’ve got a life to lead. Second, not that I’d want to see it, but why the hell would you have a blow job game show where you can’t see the blow job. Don’t go half-gay, Japan. That’s why you’ll never be America.