Just check out that scary fucking flipper on Rihanna. It’s like the nightmare appendage the Māori parents tell their little kids will come and smother them in their sleep if they don’t clean up the empty beer bottles in their room. It’s hard not to imagine the conundrum of a randy Rihanna offering up a handy and wondering if you could possibly enjoy that tatted paw and those creepy WNBA fingers wrapped around your manhood. I could, but I’m not a particular fellow. I can’t be the standard.
Photo Credit: Rihanna/Instagram