Stoning Is Back, Finally

You really don’t know how much you miss something until it’s gone. The whole NATO incursion into Afghanistan kind of fucked up a lot of the long standing local recreational outlets. Floggings, lashings, and even pederastic rape are harder to find in the major cities. Thankfully, the Karzai government in Afghanistan is bringing back stoning to death as reasonable punishment for committing adultery, or, you know, just being called a home-wrecker by the girls at the salon. And it’s about time. I don’t know many real life people, but I do watch a good amount of television and I’ve been noticing in a lot of shows recently where somebody finds out that their partner is cheating on them, but they eventually forgive them because they realize they weren’t giving them the love or attention they deserved. Fuck that softie bullshit. Bring out the rocks and let the community have a little relationship justice. We don’t understand this in our backward thinking Western culture, but Afghanistan does, and you don’t just get to be a country with almost five percent of the population having indoor plumbing without being forward thinking. Stoning fixes everything before it even breaks. Sure you’re just going on a spa weekend with Debbie. Don’t make me get the rocks, woman!