Angelina Jolie Directing With Chesty Confidence

By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 6:28 PM

Angelina Jolie Looking Chesty On The Set Of Her Movie 'Unbroken' In Australia
It’s only been seven months since Angelina Jolie shared with the world that she’d cut off her boobs because she might get breast cancer in the future. Her precog foresight earned her resounding kudos from every female corner and from the men who like to here-here whatever women say for fear or being cut off from sex. That shit is powerful. I remain concerned that Angelina’s decision to lop off appendages pre-disease might convince people to get a little overzealous in treating their potential future illnesses. I already lost one friend who learned of heart disease in his family to a vegetarian diet. He used to be fun, now he just smells like salad and issues hourly reports on his LDL. The idea of losing millions of tits on spec is some kind of boob-lovers nightmare. That probably sounds selfish and chauvinistic. That’s how you know it’s honest.

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(1) Comment

  1. avatar
    Admiral 12/10/2013 01:45

    Unless you have Obamacare – then your screwed. If you have breast cancer you’re going to have to wait 4 years until the government grows a doctor from one of their magical doctor trees they’ve been harvesting in Area 51. These genetically grown doctors will sweep over the countryside, healing the sick no matter their race, income, or nationality. And above it all, standing in a well-placed shaft of brilliant light: Obama. He’ll heal the poor and punish the greedy white man. He’ll give each black man, woman, and child a cell phone and a box of Cracker Jacks stuffed with food stamps, and Hope. More hope than you could ever afford before. After Obama you’ll have so much Hope that the entire Hope economy will inflate 99% every quarter. Your incredibly valuable Hopebucks can be redeemed to buy things like love, a star officially registered to your name, or more food stamps!

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