At Least Jessica Simpson Is Trying Again

By Travis December 04, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

At one point in this nation’s great history, women didn’t get much hotter than Jessica Simpson, as she shook her ass and squeezed her tits together to make us forget that Dukes of Hazzard was a poisoned queef of a movie. But then she decided that she wanted to do the whole family thing so she quit acting and making music, and along with her career in entertainment went her ridiculous body that even her own father couldn’t help talking about. Jessica was back in action last night, though, as she attended the Footwear News Achievement Awards (that’s a real thing, I swear to God) and even though she looked about as comfortable as Obama at an NRA rally, you’ve got to give Jessica credit for trying to recapture her long lost glory.

Photo Credits: Getty

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 12/04/2013 12:16

    You mean as uncomfortable as Obama at Gettysburg.

  2. avatar
    DrainBammage 12/04/2013 14:12

    Can you put pictures of her with less clothes next time?
    I cant seem to remember what she has ever done that has made her so famous.
    Im sure it has to do something with breasts.

  3. avatar
    miche the killer 12/05/2013 01:54

    She’s not breathing. She pretty much didn’t breathe the entire night or else a pair of Spanx would’ve slingshot across the room & killed someone with a blow to the head. And she still would’ve had 2 more pairs on.

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