Ja Rule Simply Can’t Be Gay

Like everyone on the planet, I completely forgot about Ja Rule while he was in prison for tax evasion and guns. To be fair, I think he was carrying his 1040 to the post office when he got busted for the guns, so Whitey pretty much set him up. As a welcome home from prison gift, Ja Rule’s soon to be former wife went on the highly respected CreamBMP website to call him a homo, saying he left her for his male trainer he met in lockup.

“He wrote all them love songs and still don’t know how to treat a bitch. We spent 10 plus years building our marriage but it only took him two to decide he’d rather suck a dick than be with his wife”

His eloquent wife Aisha goes on to express hope that Ja Rule’s dick sucking is just a phase, you know, like it is for so many men in their 30’s who blow their gym buddies. For his part, Ja Rule did what any man would do after being accused by his wife of being a cock gobbler, he posted a picture of himself and his new girlfriend on Twitter. Case closed. I’m pretty sure gay dudes do not have girlfriends. Or wives. Or star in Look Who’s Talking movies.