Jay Z Goes Plant Based

By Lex December 05, 2013 @ 10:38 AM

Beyonce and Jay Z Go Shopping At Barney's In New York
Jay-Z has taken on the 22 day vegan challenge. Only he’s calling it ‘plant based diet’ instead of vegan because that’s what Jay-Z does. He tinkers with phrasing to mean the exact same thing then people throw money at him. For Jay-Z, this isn’t so much about evacuating his bowels as it is the spirituality of numbers. He turned 44 on December 3 when he began the 22-day challenge. 22 is half of 44 by Jay-Z’s calculations. His 22-day challenge will natural end on Christmas, the birth of Christ. You know how big rappers love them some self-Christ identification. Jay-Z is one of the many people in this world who are into the mysticism of numbers. There tends to be a strong correlation between these numbers diddlers and schizophrenia, delusion, and smelling like long-past-due dairy products. The good news for Jay-Z is that he’s so rich, when he starts wearing tin foil hats and making Beyonce piss on him to keep him undetectable by the inter-dimensional marauders, he’ll have the luxury of being called eccentric. Enjoy your quinoa salad, original gangster.

Photo Credit: WENN

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    TitsAreNice 12/05/2013 10:52

    He, and all rappers, should go on a cyanide-based diet.

  2. avatar
    Admiral 12/05/2013 11:04

    Jay-Z decides to regulate his digestion and it makes the news? What about the growing number of black on white racist hate crimes? Nothing to say about that?

  3. avatar
    Admiral 12/05/2013 11:07

    Damn punctuation. “Black-on-white, racist hate crimes” looks an awful lot like “Black on white-racist hate crimes.”

    Just another reason why we’ll never get along.

  4. avatar
    DrainBammage 12/06/2013 00:55

    A first glance you wonder why is that black hobo following that white couple in front of him.

    I mean, he’s just starring at that white lady’s butt.

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