Jay Z Goes Plant Based

By Lex December 05, 2013 @ 10:38 AM

Beyonce and Jay Z Go Shopping At Barney's In New York
Jay-Z has taken on the 22 day vegan challenge. Only he’s calling it ‘plant based diet’ instead of vegan because that’s what Jay-Z does. He tinkers with phrasing to mean the exact same thing then people throw money at him. For Jay-Z, this isn’t so much about evacuating his bowels as it is the spirituality of numbers. He turned 44 on December 3 when he began the 22-day challenge. 22 is half of 44 by Jay-Z’s calculations. His 22-day challenge will natural end on Christmas, the birth of Christ. You know how big rappers love them some self-Christ identification. Jay-Z is one of the many people in this world who are into the mysticism of numbers. There tends to be a strong correlation between these numbers diddlers and schizophrenia, delusion, and smelling like long-past-due dairy products. The good news for Jay-Z is that he’s so rich, when he starts wearing tin foil hats and making Beyonce piss on him to keep him undetectable by the inter-dimensional marauders, he’ll have the luxury of being called eccentric. Enjoy your quinoa salad, original gangster.

Photo Credit: WENN


(4) Comments

  1. TitsAreNice 12/05/2013 10:52

    He, and all rappers, should go on a cyanide-based diet.

  2. Admiral 12/05/2013 11:04

    Jay-Z decides to regulate his digestion and it makes the news? What about the growing number of black on white racist hate crimes? Nothing to say about that?

  3. Admiral 12/05/2013 11:07

    Damn punctuation. “Black-on-white, racist hate crimes” looks an awful lot like “Black on white-racist hate crimes.”

    Just another reason why we’ll never get along.

  4. DrainBammage 12/06/2013 00:55

    A first glance you wonder why is that black hobo following that white couple in front of him.

    I mean, he’s just starring at that white lady’s butt.

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