Whenever I want good honest Kim Kardashian news, I turn to E!. They only make about ten billion dollars off of the mildly retarded whore family from Calabasas, so you know they’re going to be completely objective. Most every semi-legitimate news outlet is pointing out that Kim’s new ‘post-baby’ bikini debut on US Weekly looks more Photoshopped than all the naked Michelle Obama pictures on the Internet. E! went on to gather some heroic quotes from Kim about her Herculean effort to get her moneymaking body back in shape.
I mean, as you get older and your body changes, you just can’t eat the way you used to. So I’m training myself and I work out. You know, I love pilates, I love running. Now that we’re on the road, just any gym in any hotel, I just go for it.
Now that’s informative. And honest. As any woman knows living on the road with her rapper baby daddy, it’s hard to find the four hours a day you used to dedicate to Tracey Anderson training and colonics. Even the amphetamine laced diet powders don’t taste the same in hotels. Kim says she still has ten pounds or four more Photoshop erase swipes to go before she has her body back. In fact, she really didn’t even want to go out on the beach in her bikini yet, but she asked herself, what would her hero Eleanor Roosevelt do. And off came the clothes.
Photo Credit: Us Weekly, Kim Kardashian/Instagram