Miley Cyrus' New Music Video Shows the Mayans Were Off By One Year

Miley's new music video "Adore You' was released this morning and immediately shipped to Guantanamo where it was used to break several Jihadis who've been completely resilient to ten years of torture. I'm not sure if it's the sight of the spastic pubescent boy fumbling around in his mother's bra or the doleful sounds of nails on a chalkboard mixed with the low rumble of an asphalt roofing kettle, but sworn stalwart Islamic fundamentalists promised to expose the secret location of Bin Laden if only the soldiers would turn the barracks TV back to Animaniacs. Those sad out-of-touch fucks. Who will adore them?

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