I say Oktoberfest with a ‘k’ because as somebody who has made out with a zoftig unfiltered Camel chain smoking older German woman before in a Munich beer garden, I’ve earned the right to be authentic. But not nearly authentic as this angry drunk Alaskan chick who seemed unpleased with being messed with by a Australian boy band looking mofo. She threw a couple moose punches which didn’t seem to phase him, so she followed up with the traditional severing off of his lower lip with her demon teeth. It’s all kind of surreal. Like when Tyson bit off Holyfield’s lobe or the Buccaneers won a Super Bowl. It still seems like it never happened for real. But this shit did. And should serve as a reminder to all young people that unsafe sex is still much safer than fucking with a drunk girl from Alaska.