Phil Robertson Preaches Young Love

By Jack December 31, 2013 @ 1:30 PM

Phil Robertson is back with more nuggets of inbred swamp redneck wisdom. This time he is advising the men folk to marry girls when they are 15 or 16. The Duck Dynasty star was explaining the ducks and the fucks to a group of fellow born-agains in 2009 when he explained that when a young man is in the market for a bride he should go young…real young. By the time they get to 20 they are too worldly and have, like, finished high school and stuff. Phil married his own wife when she was just 16. He says,

“They got to where they’re getting hard to find, mainly because these boys are waiting ‘til they get to be about 20 years old before they marry ‘em. Look, you wait ‘til they get to be 20 years old the only picking that’s going to take place is your pocket. You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16. They’ll pick your ducks.”

Of course, everybody who has built up Phil Robertson as their tobacco-spitting strawman for intolerance will now point to him as a pedophile defiler of children. That’s got more sweeping hysterical appeal than just the fact that he preaches against sodomy. I’m not sure what people are expecting out of a redneck duck hunter from the Deep South. That he’s going to tell his minions to bang loose chicks until they’re 35 then marry a Sex in the City girl on her second go-round and adopt a Chinese baby for the nanny to raise. 15 seems a bit extreme in these modern times, even the State of Louisiana raised their age of consent to 17. This definitely seems worthy of another fake reprimand from A&E.

wwtdd

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