Sean Penn Now Getting Into Charlize Theron

By Lex December 31, 2013 @ 6:18 PM

Charlize Theron In A Bikini At The Beach In Hawaii
Guess what, bub. Life isn’t fair. 2013, the year before, the coming year, makes no difference. Sean Penn gets to bang Scarlett Johansson, now Charlize Theron. Next he’ll travel back to the 70′s and nail pre-ass cancer Farrah and scale Mount Olympus with his HGH popping older man muscles and rail the snot out of Aphrodite. It doesn’t make sense. I know. But it’s happening. You could lay back and be thankful for all the gifts in your life. But where the hell will that get you? You think Bill Gates stopped making his shitty software when the rest of the world started making everything better and cheaper? No. He destroyed and bullied the entire world into submission and put out ten even more crappy versions of Windows and whatever the fuck Access is. Don’t let Sean Penn get all the good pussy. You know you deserve it more than he does. Build a machine that will destroy him and launch it on no-return autopilot in case you lose the will to go through with what must be done. You didn’t hear that from me, but let me know when it’s done.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash


(10) Comments

  1. miklikestits 01/01/2014 07:58

    Lex you seriously must of been high as a motherfu*ker when you wrote this. You brutalize the English language. I made a New Year’s resolution that you would be sent back to whatever hole you crawled out of or that the wh0re of the woman that shat you out would have ingested the spunk of the monkey which produced you in the first place.

  2. metschan 01/01/2014 14:25

    Classic Lex (Brandon). Keep it up in 2014!

  3. Beylerbey 01/01/2014 16:12

    That’s a very impressive rack you have there, sir.

  4. The Mildly Tanned Knight 01/01/2014 18:41

    That’s Charlize Theron? I think I’m going to be sick…..

  5. Maybe_Observer 01/02/2014 11:02

    If I thought Charlize Theron fu*c*ked losers…..(loosers)

    ….I would have asked her out……

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