Sharon Osbourne’s Vagina Story Turns Out to be a Fish Tale

By Lex December 12, 2013 @ 4:03 PM

This is precisely why they effort to settle horrific sexual assault cases before they go to trial. Nobody wants the victim to have to sit in a courtroom across from her attacker. I feel the same way about Sharon Osbourne’s gaping labial maw. She made a furor over her scratchy snatch a couple weeks back when she announced on British television that she’d had her wizard sleeves shape shifted back to their original virginal dimensions. She even made a detailed point about how excruciating the vag-hatchet job was to undergo. Now she’s telling Howard Stern it was all just a joke. Her reproductive junk remains dangling from her frame like an everted starfish stomach digesting fish chum on the ocean bottom. Howard didn’t believe her snatch retraction retraction, so Sharon swore on the lives the children she fucked up that her vagina remained untouched since the last time Ozzy went stumbling for a sandwich in the middle of the night. Everyone agreed that she was telling the truth and that nobody who’d heard the full story would be able to eat a solid meal for at least a week. Probably longer for a cheesesteak.

wwtdd

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