Snooki Can Smell Booze In Her Tit Milk

By Jack December 18, 2013 @ 3:40 PM

What’s anatomically left of Original Snooki has given up alcohol after drinking so much she could smell the booze in her breast milk. There’s an image that will leave you not hungry for 72 hours. Snooki has tried to give up her dirty drunk whore ways and her original face since pushing out her womb weasel Lorenzo. But she occasionally still let loose like it was 2008 with her gal pals. All those years of living off a diet of tequila and cum took their toll. The consequences showed up in her milk jugs. She says,

“My milk was so full of alcohol, I could have used it to start a bonfire in the yard. I could have cleaned the toilet with it…These days, the only bottles I care about are full of formula or milk.”

Evocative. It’s true that drugs and alcohol can pass on to a baby through the mother’s milk. But come on, what fucking hope does this kid have anyhow? He’s going to grow up to be a fist-pumping Guido douche just like his parents. Why not start him out early on tit milk poppers and shots of Jaeger leche? You are only prolonging the inevitable. You can’t run from genetics.

wwtdd

(8) Comments

  1. Beylerbey 12/18/2013 15:50

    “It’s true that drugs and alcohol…”

    Propaganda term, meant to convince drinkers that they are not, in fact, imbibing a drug.

    But they are.

  2. 658811 12/18/2013 17:01

    Fact: alcohol is a hard drug. Though you never hear it, because it’s “legal”. Logic!

  3. miche the killer 12/18/2013 17:11

    One step closer to her inevitable Born Again Christian Found Jesus After a Lifetime of Sin days.

  4. TitsAreNice 12/18/2013 17:16

    Just kill these kuntz already.

  5. DrainBammage 12/18/2013 18:26

    What is this?
    “Make-Fun-Of-Mutants-South-Park-Made-Fun-Of week”?

    Im still having ‘Snooki want smoosh smoosh’ nightmares:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyVmz5shxOA

  6. Admiral 12/18/2013 19:07

    Does she really look like that or has this picture been smudged in Photoshop?

  7. Mud Nugget 12/18/2013 22:57

    That kid looks real annoying…

  8. miche the killer 12/19/2013 00:28

    Admiral, they stretched the shit out of that picture to make everyone look thin. Sorry. that baby’s still fat. And by that baby I mean the doofus in the pussy whipped elf hat.

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