When you give a man the power to do whatever the fuck he wants, he will fuck whatever he wants. Simon Cowell banged a baby into his friend’s wife, then he invited his ex-girlfriend to his new knocked up lady’s baby shower. You try that sometime and see what happens. No mortal man can pull that shit off. Next up Simon’s going to stick his dick through the giant Randy’s Doughnuts sign while he calls the White House to tell them he’s coming by to pick up Malia for a weekender in the Poconos. The Secret Service will try to stop him, but he’ll probably fuck them too. You can’t stop his cock at this point, you can only hope to deport it back to England.
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