Chantel Jeffries Likes Her Cars Like She Likes Her Men, Tiny and Quick

Chantel Jeffries is about to be famous. No, she wasn’t the third or fourth woman into space. She didn’t give birth to the Scientology reptile baby that will align the six galaxies. And, to date, her athlete and rapper loving vagina has not been confiscated by the NIH to model Obamacare services for immigrant street urchins. But she is the Miami party girl who Justin Bieber took on a drunken joyride in his $250,000 tricycle early this morning in Miami before being arrested. Now the entire world will know her name. Chantel they will say, sounds like a scientist. Speed makes her horny. It’s times like these that Mr. and Mrs. Jeffries wish the hideous sex diseases would go ahead and consume their daughter faster.

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