Corey Knowlton Really Wants to Kill a Black Rhino

January 16, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Corey Knowlton is a conservationist. You can tell by checking out all his photos of ibexes and gnus and rams and bears and other Disney Lion King animals he’s shot and killed and porn-posed around his body for photographs. In fact, Corey’s self-described as having ‘taken’ more than 120 species. I can’t even name that many species. I’m guessing he probably includes human male and human female as two separate listings. Always in search of new notch on the species counter, Corey Knowlton just bought himself a $350,000 permit to kill an endangered black rhino from the Namibian government. I didn’t even know you could buy permits to kill endangered animals, but then I always circumscribe my eBay searches with Under $50. The Namibians selling the permit claim they need the kill contract money to to fund efforts to save the black rhinos. I’m certain they don’t run lots of logic trees out there in Namibia. When people found out about Corey’s plans to go kill one of God’s one-horned wonders, they went all PETA crazy on Corey, who responded with some random blather:

Thank you all for your comments about conservation and the current situation regarding the Black Rhino. I am considering all sides and concerns involved in this unique situation. Please don’t rush to judgment with emotionally driven criticism towards individuals on either sides of this issue. I deeply care about all of the inhabitants of this planet and I am looking forward to more educated discussion regarding the ongoing conservation effort for the Black Rhino.

I’ve read that now a couple times and I’m pretty sure it means, ‘I’m going to murder the shit out of that Black Rhino. Wait for pictures of me caressing his bloody horn, you pussies.’

Everybody on the kill side is asking for calm and pointing out that the Black Rhino who drew the short straw is a post-breeding age bull. I guess the Black Rhino world is like the porn industry. When Ron Jeremy can no longer get his dong up, you can bet they’re going to chase him down Reseda Blvd. with a Remington. I’d actually pay for that permit.

Photo Credit: Corey Knowlton

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