Dennis Rodman Claims He Isn’t a Traitor, Just a Drunk Asshole

By Lex January 09, 2014 @ 7:41 PM

Dennis Rodman Out In London
Who will weep for Dennis Rodman when he’s finally fed to the hunting dogs in North Korea? Well, maybe weep for the poor hounds who get his rank meat after a couple weeks of starvation. The lost and wandering soul with the disturbing nose ring made his way to North Korean once more to shill for the latest Great Leader of North Korea. Maybe Kim Jong Un is helping Rodman pay out on his outstanding child support liens or something. It’s hard to imagine he’s being a traitorous dickbag for something other than money. His latest trip included singing Happy Birthday to Kim Jong Un at a basketball exhibition. He also got liquored up and went on CNN to defend North Korea’s imprisonment of American journalist Kenneth Bae for talking about how awesome Jesus is while in-country. Kenneth Bae’s family accepted Rodman’s apology the next day but noted that being drunk was not actually a good excuse for being a jackass who consorts with the enemy. I doubt we’d let Junior Jihadists in America use that excuse when we bust them building bombs in their Newark adjacent apartments. Fuck, man, I was drunk. I wasn’t really going to blow up kids. Allahu Akhbar, God Bless America. Rodman ought to be arrested if for no other reason than introducing basketball to a nation where the men run about 5’7″ in their tattered stockings. They already have no food, now impossible NBA dreams.

Photo Credit: WENN

(2) Comments

  1. avatar
    Cybergy 01/09/2014 20:17

    Didn’t Rob Ford already lay claim to the drunk asshole excuse?

    I suppose there’s plenty to go around.

  2. avatar
    Milto 01/10/2014 00:29

    Reminds me of Sean Penn and Saddam Hussein. Somehow, I can’t imagine that being locked up in a North Korean gulag would be much worse of a life for Rodman than being a drunken screw-up here in the States. At least he’d be free from autograph signings and Celebrity Apprentice.

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