Dennis Rodman Slinks Away to Rehab

Traitorous dick and former drag queen Dennis Rodman checked himself into rehab after returning from his latest stay in North Korea. We told you about this dumb fuck’s repeated trips to meet with BFF Kim Jong-Un, a brutal dictator who just recently fed his uncle and his circle of friends to a bunch of wild dogs. Apparently, Rodman went on quite the bender while visiting his favorite evil despot. It’s no surprise as the Kim family is known to drink more Courvoisier than a 70’s pimp. Rodman checked into a 30 day facility to get clean. Rodman was universally criticized for his defense of the tubby little Korean tyrant. But why all of a sudden was he drinking so much? His agent says,

“The pressure that was put on him to be a combination ‘super human’ political figure and ‘fixer’ got the better of him.”

What in the name of St. Fuckety Fuck does that mean? Who asked this pituitary case to be the world’s most retarded diplomat in the first place? He should just stick to being a broke ex-athlete and avoid child support and the law the way God intended. It’s so convenient for him to go to rehab now so he can claim that it was the booze that was making him betray his country and suck a dictator’s pencil dick. My only regret is that he didn’t the Uncle treatment from Kim, just to teach a lesson to other drunk assholes who want attention that they need to be on reality TV shows, not meeting with our enemies.