The People’s Choice Awards aired live from Los Angeles last night on CBS, which must have been so exciting for the simple-minded folk who think that casting votes for celebrities somehow bridges the gap between the elite and their fans. The big winners of the night were Heidi Klum and Malin Akerman, who were both nominated for Favorite Pair of Partially Exposed Breasts, and wouldn’t you know it? They tied!
But for a complete list of the evening’s winners, be sure to ask your recently-divorced aunt or the unemployed hoarder who lives next door to you, because they’re the only people on Earth who would know.
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