Miley Cyrus Makes Out With Britney Spears’ Dancer (VIDEO)

Imagine you’re in Vegas with the kids and you all hit the balcony section at the Britney Spears show. There you are, breaking it down to Britney’s epic dance hits, weeping to her tender ballads, when you spot Miley Cyrus and her scoliosis shoulders craning in to make out with Britney’s dancer chicks. How do you explain that shit to the little ones? They’ve never seen Ellen in a vest suit or had cause to ask why Hilary Clinton and Anthony Weiner’s wife travel the globe together while inexplicably forgiving their husband’s philandering. There’s spastic Hannah Montana making out with a girl who gets paid to twirl and emergency sew Britney’s bursted seams back together onstage. What the hell is happening to this country? Boys need to be introduced to lesbianism watching fake tit-on-tit sex on late night cable. That’s how they learn to appreciate lesbian love and beg their future girlfriends to get it on with their housemates. The boy who spotted this shit is going to go back and tell his little buddies that he saw two chicks making out and it was gross. He’s probably going to get labeled a pussy and get himself a solid beatdown. I hope he sues Miley Cyrus from his little kid hospital bed.