Public Marriage Proposals Ruin Everything (VIDEO)

By Lex January 14, 2014 @ 6:52 PM

Our fathers and forefathers didn’t fight great wars so that douchey attention seeking dudes could make public spectacle marriage proposals to their shocked girlfriends. It started with people interrupting parties for their big announcements, then ruining sporting events with Bruno Mars music, and finally creating flash mob dance videos with their friends who were too polite to say, ‘Dude, just how gay are you?’. It was only a matter of time before theater people got involved. Like this Peter Pan who asked Wendy to marry him in the middle of their horrid Scottish musical. A little tip for the ladies, if your man loves the idea of a big audience watching him propose, he’s not doing it for you. And if he does it to choreographed song and dance, not only will he be narcissistically dominating your unhappy marriage someday soon, he’ll probably be doing so while wearing your panties. I don’t care how much this Wendy is crying and giggling. She’s fucking Wendy in a Peter Pan musical with a giant showboating dog. You don’t want the Dancing Attention Clown when the hurricane rips up the coastline, your power is out, and the kids are screaming in fright. You want the guy who was hesitant to get married. He’s the thinker.

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    miche the killer 01/14/2014 20:43

    This might by my favorite thing you’ve ever written.

  2. avatar
    Shastar 01/15/2014 02:44


  3. avatar
    Al Bundy 01/15/2014 08:25

    I think the posting should have focused on the amazing fact that there was an actual straight man performing in a theater musical.

  4. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 01/15/2014 17:02

    All excellent points Lex, this marriage will end in divorce in 2 years when she comes home early and finds him sucking a cock.

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