Our fathers and forefathers didn’t fight great wars so that douchey attention seeking dudes could make public spectacle marriage proposals to their shocked girlfriends. It started with people interrupting parties for their big announcements, then ruining sporting events with Bruno Mars music, and finally creating flash mob dance videos with their friends who were too polite to say, ‘Dude, just how gay are you?’. It was only a matter of time before theater people got involved. Like this Peter Pan who asked Wendy to marry him in the middle of their horrid Scottish musical. A little tip for the ladies, if your man loves the idea of a big audience watching him propose, he’s not doing it for you. And if he does it to choreographed song and dance, not only will he be narcissistically dominating your unhappy marriage someday soon, he’ll probably be doing so while wearing your panties. I don’t care how much this Wendy is crying and giggling. She’s fucking Wendy in a Peter Pan musical with a giant showboating dog. You don’t want the Dancing Attention Clown when the hurricane rips up the coastline, your power is out, and the kids are screaming in fright. You want the guy who was hesitant to get married. He’s the thinker.
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