Sean Penn Banged Charlize Theron Then Made Her Get Him a Coffee

By Lex January 06, 2014 @ 1:50 PM

Charlize Theron Goes On A Coffee Run As Sean Penn Waits In The Car In Los Angeles
I don’t know what voodoo power resides in the Penn penis but it’s fucking disturbing. It’s some black sorcery that the NSA ought to investigate rather than listening to me talk dirty to a woman who I secretly worry is really a man. We can’t let Al Qaeda get their hands on that magic cock. Charlize Theron isn’t exactly the homely chick looking to settle. Sean Penn whipped out his shaft and told Charlize she would be taking his gift for the next three to six months. Charlize nodded her head compliantly, turned on the soundtrack to Colors, and told Sean to tag her like a vato. When Sean was spent, Charlize got in line at Starbucks to get her master a half-soy latte. Sean sat in the car pensively wondering how many more years he had before the devil came to collect on his soul.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    Milto 01/06/2014 14:27

    He may have magic power. Or maybe it’s because some women love being with assholes. Just ask Robin Wright.

  2. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 01/06/2014 17:20

    Hey has anyone else noticed that when Sean Penn bangs a girl, she gets measurably less attractive? Charlize is looking a little doughy around the middle lately. And when he was doing Scarlett Johannsen she looked awful. Then after they split she looked great again.

    I’d say his penis has powers, all right.

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 01/06/2014 18:06

    A woman who lumbers can’t be sexy.

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