Shia LaBeouf Says It Was All Performance Art

Shia Labeouf is now claiming that his bizarre behavior and rampant plagiarism was all just digital performance art. The pekingese-faced star of Transformers revealed that it was all meant as a commentary on art in the age of Twitter or some shit. He said that his #stopcreating hashtag seen after many of his myriad apologies is part of a project he’s working on with other “artists” to explore, like, what is art, man. He says,

“Performance art has been a way of appealing directly to a large public, as well as shocking audiences into reassessing their own notions of art and its relation to culture. My twitter ‘@thecampaignbook’ is meta-modernist performance art. A Performative [sic] redress which is all a public apology really is.”

Right. As for the plagiarism, he says he meant to get caught. It was a statement about plagiarism in a digital age. It’s not that he’s a fucking moron that doesn’t know how to properly cite things or was trying to pass someone else’s work off as his own. No, it’s just that,

“All art is either plagarisum [sic] or revolution & to be revolutionary in art today, is to be reactionary.”

And with that, all the people who truly believed they couldn’t possibly hate Shia LaBeouf more than they already do were rendered speechless. I had just assumed he was shit-his-pants stupid and that maybe he just didn’t know any better since he was raised as a stage kid in Los Angeles. But now I see that on top of being a fucking moron he’s also a pretentious pseudo-intellectual fuckwad. I intend to claim performance art as my defense when I beat him senseless across his self-satisfied mug. When the jury acquits me, I’ll tell Shia how meta it would be if I got to sign his face cast.