The Marlboro Man Dies From Smoking Marlboros

Eric Lawson, who played the iconic Marlboro man in the classic 70’s ads died inexplicably of pulmonary problems. The 72 year old had been suffering from all kinds of smoking related diseases for years. The ads have been criticized for decades by anti-smoking whiners because of the glamorous image of rough trade Brokeback masculinity they portrayed. They made smoking seem cool and manly and a good way to get a hummer when your cock smells like horse.The worst part of Lawson’s death is that it is going to give anti-smoking activists one more thing to be smug about. “Well, you know the Marlboro Man died from smoking.” Yeah, and you are going to die from me setting you on fire with my Zippo, you smug bastard.  I’m not a smoker but I do want to live in a country where you can kill yourself anyway you damn please. This is America and having the freedom to make stupid life choices is why our ancestors did lots of hard work we fortunately don’t have to do so much anymore. And if you need something positive to focus on, just think of all the disaffected fat high school girls who are a little less fat today thanks to Marlboro.