Bob Costas Collapses Under Weight of Eye Puss

By Lex February 11, 2014 @ 4:08 PM

Even hardened Russian mafia members were cringing in their furry Western boots at the sight of the ooze and puss and lachrymal matter dripping from the blood-orange eyes of Bob Costas in his TV nest in Sochi. It’s been like watching a whore’s vagina expel regret after a particularly eventful Vegas convention weekend. Nobody knows how Costas got his pink-eye, everybody just wants it to go far the fuck away. You can’t just put on a pair of spectacles and expect the world not to notice Kilauea is flinging eyeball magma. NBC announced this morning that Costas was being sent to quarantine in Irkutsk and Matt Lauer and his trying-hard-not-to-look-gay mustache would be taking over. Then NBC reminded everybody that it’s February and crappy made up winter sports are all you got, so shut the fuck up.

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Dayday 02/11/2014 16:27

    Still reading, but missing Brandon. Should be long before he pulls off a PSH scene, but will we even know?

  2. avatar
    DicksEverywhere 02/11/2014 16:48

    Hey, retard! That’s you, Lex. Over here, darlin’.

    It’s “pus,” you barely-literate cvntwad.

    You obviously spend most of your day looking up words that consist of more than 6 letters in order to bulk up your posts and make up for your lack of content and appear to have passed the 5th grade; and you no doubt pray that they’re being used in the proper context (they usually aren’t, by the way;) but it just isn’t working out.

    When mommy and daddy are asleep tonight, you should sneak into the laundry room and find a bottle with the letters B-L-E-A-C-H on it. It might smell a little like daddy’s peepee rod, but be a big boy and drink long and hard from that bottle. Things will get better for all of us after that’s accomplished.

    Good night, sweet prince.

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 02/11/2014 17:56

    Awwww, poor little gun-grabbin’ Costas. Here’s hoping his case is a serious one.

  4. avatar
    StepheniePartysdyl 02/11/2014 18:38

    My neighbour is working part time and averaging $9000 a month. I’m a single mum and just got my first paycheck for $6546! I still can’t believe it. I tried it out cause I got really desperate and now I couldn’t be happier. Heres what I do, >>>>>>>> Y­E­L­L­W­O­R­K.­­ℭ­­Oℳ

  5. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 02/11/2014 22:12

    Lib mouthpieces must report news even with crack eyes. Some subsitute might speak honestly. I hope Costas commits seppuku.

  6. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 02/12/2014 13:41

    Looks like Satan might be cashing in a little early on his deal with Costas.

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