Brandi Glanville Has a New Book And Genital Warts

By Lex February 06, 2014 @ 6:58 PM

Brandi Glanville is dropping a new book just about every week now. That has to be considered highly fucking prolific for a raging alcoholic with a moderate level of intellgence. Which just goes to show, you can get tons of shit done when you’re long term unemployed. Put that in your Obama criticism pipe and smoke it. Having unlimited free time allows you the privilege to sit down every day and focus on calling your agent to see how the ghostwriter is coming along with your latest book. In her latest literary venture, Drinking and Dating, Brandi continues to expound upon the only thing people could possibly care about her, how LeAnn Rimes stole her husband. It has been five years now on this same topic, so Brandi upped the ante by announcing that Eddie Cibrian gave her HPV. I’m sure he was thinking bitch slap to the chops for their last Christmas, but being a gentleman, he settled on transmittable warts. Brandi speculates that Eddie was serial-cheating on her during their marriage, hence, her broken vagina and broken heart. I’m not sure what revelations occur after Page 1 of this book, but unless Eddie also gave her The AIDS or she had sex with a postmortem Philip Seymour Hoffman, you can probably skip on the purchase.

(2) Comments

  1. avatar
    Ernst Stavro Blofeld 02/06/2014 21:15

    The metamorphoses of this story is remarkable: Man leaves pregnant wife for psycho country-poon side-piece. Everyone immediately pities pregnant wife. What a monster this man must be! But then pregnant wife goes on Real Housewives and reveals herself to be a shrieking, vapid, ignoramus of a mega-twat. Now the story isn’t about how Eddie Cibrian could leave the “poor wife” whose putrid meat pile he blasted an embryo-fertilizing load into, but rather how in the hell he managed to stay with her as long as he did. It takes a special brand of rotten to shut the lights off on that kind of pity party. At this point, if Brandpes got tagged across the jaw by some kid playing “knockout”, people would probably give the kid a medal and some Wal-Mart gift cards.

  2. avatar
    Beylerbey 02/07/2014 20:41

    ESB, you so crazy. Kids who play knockout king gather a hundred similarly-hued friends and take what they want from Walmart.

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