Copenhagen Has a Very Dramatic Zoo

I used to think the zoo was boring. A bunch of drugged out kidnapped beasts playing with their feces cakes. But the Danish people got the zoo entertainment factor figured out. When young Marius the Giraffe came up DNA non-blessed for breeding, zookeeper Bengt Holst went and got his shotgun and planted some buckshot in Marius between his cute giraffe eyes. But that was hardly the end of Marius' magical journey to adorable animal heaven. With a bunch of school kids visiting the zoo that day, Bengt figured, let's go full circle of life learning and he had Marius butchered up into bloody pieces like a mafia informant and fed to the neighboring lions. Heartfelt samaritans around the world who are less Danish and more sensitive to things like cutting up baby giraffes in front of kids got outraged. Bengt felt obliged to respond in video explaining how this is just the normal course of giraffe existence. Just like in Africa where lions sneak up on giraffes and blow their brains out with a 12-gauge before grabbing the circular saw for dinner service.

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