I can’t begin to pronounce this girl’s name. I bet if I were Lithuanian, I could speak it effortlessly and hold my potato-brewed liquor four times better. She’s a model currently dating Maxwell, whose name I can pronounce but I have little fucking clue who he is. I know he sings that song This Woman’s Work that becomes so falsetto at some point that the sperm in your epididymis actually begin to weep. I guess these two deserve each other. Actually, I deserve her, but Maxwell gets her because otherwise I’d be happy. We can’t have that.
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