Even though the film about ass spanking couldn’t find an actress with an ass, I’m feeling pretty optimistic about Fifty Shades of Grey. Twenty million suburban housewives simultaneously flicking their beans can’t possibly be wrong. Remember when those same ladies started becoming moist over Boston Market? Next thing you know that mediocre meatloaf was available with two sides on every corner of this great land. These ladies’ clits are like modern day sybils at Delphi, dispensing the final word on what shall live and what shall die in our economy. Fifty Shades of Grey will make bank, even if we all have to wait another full year to see Christian Grey discipline that flat ass.
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