Is Bieber Heading To The ATL?

By Jack February 14, 2014 @ 3:58 PM

Justin Bieber is reportedly looking for houses in Atlanta, GA. The tiny tyke has been seen searching for manors in the more desirable parts of the Southern metropolis. Hotlanta has long been considered a mecca for hip hop bad boys with a love of drinking cough syrup cocktails. Being a short black rapper with mediocre talent and a hardcore OTC medication habit is all Bieber has ever wanted to be. He is Bizzle now, after all. Atlanta isn’t the same kind of paparazzi magnet the LA is, so presumably Bieber would have more privacy to get high and egg his neighbor’s houses without constantly being hounded by the press.

Not that he’s abandoning Los Angeles completely. Bieber’s been looking for a thirty acre ranch property where his drugged up loser friends who aren’t allowed to leave the state can express their hostile youth selves without interacting with any live human neighbors. The type of property child molester cults and methamphetamine makers tend to seek out. But lest you think there’s no room for family, be sure that Bieber’s dad Jeremy will be Chief of Security and Weed at the new establishment, while mom works the vast frontage of the ranch property luring in truckers with her gloryhole on wheels.

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(1) Comment

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