Katy Perry: Midwife With a Healthy Rack

Katy Perry is apparently now delivering babies in people’s homes. You know, because having big yabbos and formerly laying beneath Jon Mayer and Russell Brand give you the requisite knowledge to assist in childbirth. Katy bragged on Twitter that she helped someone give birth in their living room. Who in the name of holy baby Jesus thought, “You know who I want to help me in the miracle of childbirth? Katy Perry”? It’s either someone from her entourage who was sucking up by asking Katy to help pull a fetus from her reproductive canal or it was some demented fan. Either way, it seems medically unsound. Katy said of the experience,

“Finally you can add “helps delivers babies in living rooms” to my resume! It’s been a miracle of a day…?? Auntie Katy aka Stylist Auntie

I guess knowing how to form the heart shape via Twitter emoticon is akin to having your obstetrician’s degree. Next, Katy will pick one lucky girl out of her concert audience and give her a pap smear with a tiger-print speculum. I don’t know much about ladies or their, but I know enough to call an M.D. when a pregnant woman starts shouting about anything.