Katy Perry: Midwife With a Healthy Rack

By Michael February 27, 2014 @ 4:22 PM

Katy Perry is apparently now delivering babies in people’s homes. You know, because having big yabbos and formerly laying beneath Jon Mayer and Russell Brand give you the requisite knowledge to assist in childbirth. Katy bragged on Twitter that she helped someone give birth in their living room. Who in the name of holy baby Jesus thought, “You know who I want to help me in the miracle of childbirth? Katy Perry”? It’s either someone from her entourage who was sucking up by asking Katy to help pull a fetus from her reproductive canal or it was some demented fan. Either way, it seems medically unsound. Katy said of the experience,

“Finally you can add “helps delivers babies in living rooms” to my resume! It’s been a miracle of a day…?? Auntie Katy aka Stylist Auntie

I guess knowing how to form the heart shape via Twitter emoticon is akin to having your obstetrician’s degree. Next, Katy will pick one lucky girl out of her concert audience and give her a pap smear with a tiger-print speculum. I don’t know much about ladies or their, but I know enough to call an M.D. when a pregnant woman starts shouting about anything.

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    dylujenaw 02/27/2014 18:23

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  2. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 02/27/2014 19:00

    And who gave birth to that fukcing awful hair? She needs to fire her stylist.

  3. avatar
    honking horker 02/27/2014 20:35


    Jesus, this is a new low for you. The woman is helping her sister through childbirth and you make quips and paint her as incompetent?

    You could have gone 10 other ways effectively.

    1. Making quips about her in a nurse uniform (I like that image)
    2. Making jokes about maybe seeing a vag destroyed will keep her from getting preggers.
    3. Not going to keep doing your job for you to prove a point.

    This is the most interesting thing Katy Perry has probably done in a while, and you make a bimbo incompetent joke? It sucks, it’s lazy, and it assumes the worst about the celebrity. 4th grade girls aren’t this petty or bad.

  4. avatar
    Beylerbey 02/27/2014 23:20

    I agree with horker with the following exception: one must always assume the worst about the celebrity.

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