Leo DiCaprio Attacked By Weiner Nuzzler (VIDEO)

Leo DiCaprio is the latest victim of a fiendish foreigner that likes to bury his face in the crotch of A-list celebrities. The man in question is named Vitalii Sediuk and he’s from one of those former Soviet shithole countries that are incredibly hard to spell. He is a “journalist”, which I guess like here in America means guys who like to bury their noses in the crotches of famous people. He’s previously done his dirty work with Will Smith and Bradley Cooper. You may recall Will Smith gave him a nasty slap after he tried to kiss the Fresh Prince on the mouth. DiCaprio was attending an event at the Santa Barbara film festival when the penis snuggling occurred. Vitalii can be seen in the video sneaking off the red carpet and rubbing his face against Leo’s crotch like a cock hungry supermodel who grew up eating cabbage soup. Leo’s people struggle to loosen Vitalii’s vice-like grip around DiCaprio’s thighs as he gets one last cuddle in with Leo’s little Wolf of Wall Street.

Maybe I’m a small minded American with small minded American tastes, but I don’t understand what passes for funny in these weird foreign countries. Is this supposed to be some hilarious prank? All I see is a guy rubbing his cranium on a Hollywood star’s dick. If that’s funny then there are hundreds of girls named Savannah and Jade working off the interstate who are fucking comic geniuses.