Meet Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Alleged Drug Connects

I guess the rave DJ business isn’t what it used to be, so privileged kid stoner Max Rosenblum and his drama student girlfriend Juliana Luchkiw turned to supplying drugs to fat famous actors hellbent on leaving this planet. Not exactly New Jack City. Still, the police were determined to arrest somebody with some kind of heroin this week after Philip Seymour Hoffman went belly an syringe up in his Manhattan apartment. It’s not clear whether this idiot couple and a couple of other bigger drug dealers arrested in their apartment building were actually Hoffman’s suppliers. Still, that ought to be enough of a pro-forma bust to let the Mayor declare victory in the drug war and get back toJumble puzzles with his lesbian wife. Return to your juice bars. Gotham is safe once more.

Photo Credit: Juliana Luchkiw/Instagram