New Bieber Egging Video Emerges

A new video has emerged in which you can hear Bieber during the now infamous egging on his neighbor’s house. The incident occurred a while back when Bieber and his loser buddies pelted his neighbor’s house with eggs supposedly causing $20,000 worth of damage. You can’t see Bieber in this video but you can sure hear someone threatening the neighbor in Bieber’s high pitched screeching weasel voice. Police also have surveillance video which shows Bieber in the vicinity of the egging, though it doesn’t explicitly show him tossing eggs like a smallish girl at church picnic.

It’s hard to imagine any court will ever do anything serious to Justin Bieber. He’s got a massive legal team and most prosecutors know it’s a big fucking waste of time to try and convict him of anything. People are talking about maybe deporting the rectum scar back to Canada, but outside of Mexican grandmas with knurled fingers, we don’t really deport anybody. The number of weed dealers and car dealers and tiny unemployed black rappers Bieber supports here in the U.S. is not inconsequential. He’s too big too fail. Which is ironic, because you know he’s shorter than my last shit.