Philip Seymour Hoffman Killed By Scientology

According to reports, Philip Seymour Hoffman fell off the decades long sobriety wagon with just one single drink at the wrap party for The Master, where he played the L. Ron Hubbard like character of the film that was basically a lawsuit proof version of how Scientology got started. Lots of drinking and sex apparently. Hoffman’s single cocktail turned into several more, which turned into a real bender. While most people who drink one too many end up sleeping with a girl form the bar with oddly spaced teeth, Hoffman’s several sheets to the wind led to a heroin overdose in a Manhattan apartment. I think he made five more movies though in the interim.

Here’s pictures of people crying going to Hoffman’s funeral. It’s a good reminder to kids not to use drugs that can kill you. Stick to the shit that only makes you fat and listless and you’ll live long enough that everybody will hate you by the time you die.