Sam Rubin Is One Stupid Cracker (VIDEO)

KTLA reporter Sam Rubin can’t tell Samuel L. Jackson and Lawrence Fishburne apart. You know, because they are both older black dude actors. It all began when Rubin conducted a remote interview with Jackson about his latest crappy paycheck movie, Robocop. Rubin asked Jackson about public reaction to his Super Bowl commercial. Of course, Jackson didn’t have a super bowl commercial. Rubin was referring to the KIA ad in which Lawrence Fishburne reprized his role as Morpheus from the Matrix movies. Jackson then went on an epic rant that, which surprisingly, didn’t contain the word motherfucker. Jackson said,

I’m not Laurence Fishburne. We don’t all look alike. We may be all black and famous, but we all don’t look alike. You’re busted…There’s more than one black guy doing a commercial. I’m the ‘What’s in your wallet?’ black guy. Morgan Freeman is the other credit card black guy. You only hear his voice though so you probably won’t confuse him with Laurence Fishburne. You’re the entertainment reporter for this station? And you don’t know the difference between me and Laurence Fishburne? There must be a very short line for your job.

I often mix up actors. Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman are the same fucking person as far as I’m concerned. Everybody named Dermott or Dylan in Hollywood is the same fucking person. But that’s because they have similar names and make really fucking shitty movies. Not because they’re all pasty white dudes who couldn’t play sports. A simple Google search would have told this morning news show teleprompter reader that Lawrence Fishburne was Morpheus. Rubin apologized but the damage was done. Among the two black people who have ever watched him on television, expect one to drop out.