I guess there’s no real point in coming up with new stories for school girls when Twilight can just be redone a few more times. What was so wrong about reading about human girls discovering boys and their monthly and Mrs. Jones who got robbed at the mall by a gang of multicultural thieves? Now everything has to be about metrosexual vampires who look like Calvin Klein models hot enough to let grope your new boobs but who will respect your desire to save your virginity for when you marry your mom’s tennis instructor. This new trend can’t be good for America. It’s making us soft. Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys helped us win the Cold War. This Vampire Academy shit is a green light to Al Qaeda to start bombing McDonald’s. Somebody in the White House needs to look at this shit before my McCafe goes boom.
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