Shia LaBeouf Is Important

By Jack February 12, 2014 @ 12:41 PM


Shia LaBeouf continued his reign of terror on the art world with a one man show at an LA gallery called #Iamsorry. The scrunchy-faced Pekingese set up shop in the Cohen gallery in Los Angeles in a performance art piece that apparently plagiarizes some other wanky performance artist named Marina Abramović. Because, you know, he can’t even come up with his own stupid bullshit to do. You can literally do anything and call it performance art. He can jack off to a picture of Bea Arthur while wearing his grandma’s panties and call it art. But, his show isn’t that interesting. Basically, you grab a toy with deep meaning and wave it at him while LaBeouf sits behind a table wearing a paper bag that says “I’m not famous anymore on it”. As one spectator explained,

“You walk into a room where a French girl with a thick accent is standing behind a table. She tells you to choose one of the items on the table she calls implements. There’s a vase of daisies, a copy of Daniel Clowes’ “Death Ray” book, a rusty wrench, a whip, a pink ukulele, a bottle of perfume, a Transformers toy and a bowl with tweets people have written to him. She leads you to a room behind a black curtain and he’s sitting there with a tux and paper bag on his head. You sit there with him and ask him questions. No response from him, not even a smile or chuckle. He just blinks at you.”

Shia LaBeouf doesn’t have a drug problem nor is he going crazy, he’s just a pretentious twat. He’s a person who became famous at an early age because he was a precocious child actor from L.A. But he always knew he was more special and sophisticated than the other bubble gum kid stars. He’s desperate to be more than just the curly-haired guy who runs around and screams a lot in Transformers. That’s not how he sees himself. He’s a real artist with something to say. So like a crappy musician, instead of being good, he’s just playing extra loud. This can’t end well.

wwtdd

(3) Comments

  1. DrainBammage 02/12/2014 15:25

    Ive got a guy at work from Montreal who tells me that this douchebag has the funniest name in french.
    It seems Shia sounds like a lot like Chie but with an accent on the last e which sounds like Eh so think Shi-ay!!.
    That word means to shit.

    LaBeouf is the mispelling of Le Boeuf which means the beef.

    So his name in french means ‘shitting beef’.

    If this is true, then its the most appropriate name in the world.

  2. BonnieStevegma 02/12/2014 17:22

    $87 an hour! Seriously I don’t know why more people haven’t tried this, I work two shifts, 2 hours in the day and 2 in the evening…And whats awesome is Im working from home so I get more time with my kids. Heres where I went, >>>>>
    >>>Y­E­L­L­W­O­R­K.­­ℭ­­Oℳ

  3. Mud Nugget 02/12/2014 18:41

    He should be wearing a douche bag

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