Brie Larson Got the Crappy Prom Dress

The Independent Spirit Awards are held every year the day before The Oscars so Hollywood can pretend their works of true art aren’t shat out by the exact same corporate entities that pay the bills with Transformers and Ride Along. Everybody plays their part by downplaying their plastic surgery and leafing through the Helena Bonham Carter catalog of Lost Boys wardrobe for their Bohemian designer gowns. Brie Larson wasn’t half bad in 21 Jump Street, but she calls herself a poet, which means I’m obliged to feel the need to kick her in the shins. She got a dress made for her by some Italian sounding place that didn’t anticipate her showing the crowd that even poets shave their armpits for big occasions. She came very close to showing off her indie spirit. This was Hollywood’s Arab Spring.

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